The Magic Square

Wednesday, 30 May 2012

An Epistle to The Gurus: Deepak Chopra, The Late Osho and Bernard Pullman of Destiny. Or just how many people can I offend

An Epistle to The Gurus: Deepak Chopra, The Late Osho and Bernard Pullman of Destiny. Or just how many people can I offend

Once upon a time in a secret multidimensional location. Far Far away...

Sat a Monkey Monk

His name is SatTatVat of The Cup Containing The Chalice of the Golden Gurus Urine.

That was a very long name indeed however, The Monk as he is generally called does take the Piss.

As he is Multimensional Endless of Omnidirectional Omniscient Omnipresent as an ascended monkey having scaled the heights of the Monkey Puzzle he does translocate over spiral time which is folded and bent so that no point in space information depth time could not be reached.

The Main point of his time spiral sliding was not to spread his quadruple loop infinity squared by a circle = (10°=1□): Beyond the comprehension of the lower degrees. As an Ipsissimus he is free from limitations and necessity and lives in perfect balance with the manifest universe..

His purpose was to truly take the piss out of the gilded gurus who had manifested on earth with the one goal of making money from the zombies and sheeples that claim to be Homo Sapiens.

His three favoured targets are Deepak Chopra who truly takes the piss.

Osho, who although now dead is not free from the karma he generated whilst thoroughly enjoying all the material goods, jewels and Rolex watches he could wear at the expense of the idiots who furnished his tax haven bank accounts.

And then there was a wHoly Tit who's male breast does spill forth rotten milk and contradiction. His name was Bernard Poolman a South African FUD who uses the most obvious mind control exercises to beguile numerous cabbages into truly becoming bald apes and listening to his hate filled diatribe.

The Monk did feel somewhat responsible for some of Bernard's idiotic rants, it was after all he who had convinced Bernard that the i magi nation was dangerous, which it is if you are an evil cultist following a Nazi Socialist agenda, and of course The Toothless Gets Ruthless mirth when the Poolman told his slack mouthed converts and the world that he was going to remove all his teeth and through the power of GOD will have them grow back.

Bernard must of asked his wide eyed seer to double check this probability afterwards, possibly via the Sucker Test of Channeling toilet paper.. Any ways what ever occurred in that lead lined room someone must of gained a flash of samadhi from a more compassionate Bodhisattva than The Monk for he never did walk the talk* which runs like Holy Chao Shite from his mouth.


*Fairly typical of The Worldy Gurus to Do as They Do and Not as They Dictate.

The Monk was actually the same being who devised the popular mantra -

AumNgManiPadmeHuNg which seems to have been picked up by so many of the bleating sheep as to show how dangerous a lack of originality is... (Meanwhile in Nirvana, Smoking a Spliff, Prince Siddhartha Gautama would be rolling in his tomb, if it was not for the fact that he is in Nirvana and Rolling Spliff to get over his biggest regret that when he was asked what enlightenment was he, had simply smiled in that stoner proto-hippy fashion and held up a five petalled orange flavoured Lotus Blossom..

Oh yes he is rolling for what he really should of said is....

["It is difficult to express as I am ripped out my melon; I have a serious case and dose of the paranoia munchies and whatever you fuckers do Please Please accept this is my world view, this is my fucked up idea and you really should question everything, especially me, and additionally please know this is my philosophy. So DO NOT WAIT UNTIL I AM DEAD AND START ANOTHER FUCKING RELIGION.]**!

**It is of note here that the majority of religions if not all of them started out as a really NICE idea in the head of some traumatised human who's conditions vary from schizophrenic, to just very very high and were robbed after death by homophobic, power hungry, misogynistic, narcissistic sociopaths, i.e. The Likes of The Church fathers.***

***Here The Monk truly feels The Slip of The Banana Peel as it was he who had paid visit to Saul, (latterly Paul), whilst smuggling Hemp in a parallel time spiral and fractal dimension, upon the road to Damascus.

Anyway - The Monk did not actually say aforementioned Mantra due to his speech defect and he was also, at that time trapped in the body of an illiterati artist come cross dresser named Willi of The very shakey yet Floppy Spear who had been arrested for touching the botty of some English Fop Lord when inebriated in a Stratford Tavern.

What William used as a medium for the mantra was his own excrement on the cell wall. And while William thought he was writing in his own illiterate style, "Aum many penis hunny".. Well you can see how this rolls 32 Degrees of Masonic + 1 extra layer on a Scroll.

To get to the Paradoxical Pointless Point.

The Monk's Fourth most favourite person to visit is myself.

To my eyes he is a grumpy surly 2 Assed Monkey who has taught myself an awful lot via The Cosmic Midnight Joker.

And while he only ever utters an OOK or an OOK OOK; truly he has shown myself vistas of eternal probability in a fashion far more stimulating and spiritual than any dry old book, chat or irritating social media feed than any of the aforementioned Gurus, Saints, Martyrs, Religious Leaders and ridiculous cultists.

So a great big Yellow Banana, (In a Extremely Offensive Cock Shape in direct contravention of European and FDA rules), of Thanks and Bleesings.


And Deepak remember we have much to discuss as agreed on December The 21st 2012

© Jonathan MacLean-Lambie (forever)

Polyfather of The Lightening Struck Tower Cabal
Paratheo-Anametamystikhood Of Eris Esoteric (POEE)

Khabs Am Pekht


The Magus 9°= 2□ XI°



I Tego Arcana Dei
Location:United Kingdom


  1. Rotten milk from a male breast?...That explains a lot ;)

  2. Well, I followed Natasha's link RT here but I can say I have only a vague clue as to what a part of this actually means or refers to (I think) I'm sure it's good but I really wouldn't know.

    1. Thanks PamRosy_p That is perfectly cool.

      I am grateful that Natasha found it in someway worthy of sharing.

      It is in essence esoteric satyr and discordian, unless you have a degree or 3 or more under your belt it is tricky to get, maybe as its satyr thus suggesting two horns, which represent the opening of the third eye it is better not to grasp either.

      Thank you for taking the time to drop by and leave a comment.

      Kind Regards,